Job stresses, excessive amounts of problems within the household, declining hormones, lack of mutual connection in a relationship, problems with kids, and numerous other issues seriously affect sex life even it feels like everything’s fine.

What Is HSDD?

It’s a medical term, standing for the hypoactive sexual desire disorder. It’s common for numerous women (what is about a third), starting from the younger age (about 18) and finishing with ladies in their fifties or sixties.

It’s a type of sexual dysfunction among women of any age. You should understand that loss of sexual desire is a serious problem that can be hidden not merely in a woman’s head. Respect your partner and help her get back to normal using the following article as helpful information.

IMPORTANT! You’ll probably need the help of a certified medical specialist or a psychologist if you don’t want to hurt your spouse and make the life of your partner even more disturbing.

What Causes HSDD?

Men’s sexual complaints are different on the physiological and psychological levels, and there’s no need in trying to compare. You can’t cure trouble like this with one pill because it’s a combination of physical and mental factors at once, in most cases.

The sexuality of a woman is multifaceted. Hopefully, many effective therapies have been established by now, and both women and men can enjoy their sex lives, regardless of age.

What Do We Know About Low Sexual Desire?

Low sexual wish has no connection with how often you have sex regularly. Of course, if the frequency of sex works for your partner and you, it’s marvelous. But you should understand that it’s a very rare case.

Nevertheless, when a woman is distressed by the significant decrease in sexual desire, and it gravely affects her emotional state and psychological behavior, it’s already considered a health issue, known as hypoactive sexual desire disorder.

Low desire has almost no connection with sex drive or low libido. Low sexual desire is explained on the biological level. If you don’t have sexual fantasies and dreams and if spontaneous sexual thoughts do not appear in your head, you might be suffering from a serious sexual disorder. It’s on the reproductive biology level, established by nature when your body tells you it desires to be sexual.

What Is Sexual Drive vs. Desire

The sexual drive gets lower with age which is entirely normal for every human being. It’s a physiological factor, telling our bodies that reproduction is no longer so important. Nevertheless, sexual desire doesn’t last with age. It’s a willingness to be sexual that implies psychological and interpersonal factors.

It’s a sense of intimacy between the partners and willingness to deliver mutual pleasure. You can be horny, but not with someone you don’t like. So, if you’re mad at your spouse, there’s no wonder she doesn’t want to have sex with you.

Loss of Sexual Desire: Common Causes

  • Interpersonal relationship issues. Unsatisfying sexual performance of a partner, weak emotional connection, giving birth to a child, and becoming a caregiver for a member of the family can seriously affect sexual wish.
  • Sociocultural factors. These are peer pressure, stresses at work, and images of sexuality promoted in the media.
  • Low testosterone. Both men and women can suffer from this health issue. The peak of testosterone levels in women is in their 20s and 30s. Then, it decreases with time till the dramatic drop in the period of menopause.
  • Health issues. These are thyroid disorders, fibroids, endometriosis, depressions, mental illnesses, and more. Everything affecting the well-being on the psychological and physiological level affects the sexual drive of a partner.
  • Medication therapies and certain drugs. Pills for blood pressure, antidepressants, and contraceptives can seriously change the behavior of women in sex. Medications, affecting the blood flow can also be the cause.
  • Age. Androgens get lower with the age and it’s almost impossible to avoid it.

My Wife Has No Desire for Sex: What Can I Do? Medical Advice

Lack of sexual desire usually happens because of physical and psychological factors combined. It demands a more complex therapy approach. It’s commonly not about only one single complaint.

Now that we have determined the factors making low sexual wishes appear in women, it’s time to discuss the possible treatment therapies.

What Are the Basic Medical Therapies for Low Sexual Drive

Sex Therapy

Relationship counseling has a lot of potential for couples and individuals. It’s one of the top treatment options on the list. Sexual dysfunction isn’t a problem of an individual but usually a problem of a couple. A health professional will help you to discuss the issue and determine medical treatment.

Fixing with the Meds

Medications can cause low sexual drive. Probably, a prescription change is needed. Alternative medication therapy can also become a way out. If the doctor suspects the negative impact of the oral contraceptive, affecting the levels of testosterone, an altered formulation or new non-hormonal birth control medications should be used.

Underlying Medical Problems

Your spouse should make a medical check-up to find out whether she has underlying problems. Probably, the surgery is needed.

Vaginal Estrogens

If your spouse is through menopause, she can be distressed by vaginal dryness. Thankfully, the problem is easily eliminated with vaginal estrogen creams that don’t cost too much.

Testosterone Therapy

Unfortunately, the FDA doesn’t approve hormone drugs and therapies for sexual problems treatment in women. However, numerous gynecologists suggest using off-label testosterone therapies to restore the hormone levels back to normal. It’s often recommended for patients in menopause.

Alternative Treatment: Skin Patches & Pills

Additionally, there are testosterone-containing skin patches and pills. They are still in the process of scientific studies, and the specialists sincerely hope that these treatments will soon be approved by the FDA, because, according to the studies, they are entirely safe when used in line with the instructions.

The first studies have already shown that sexual drive and even sexual satisfaction are getting better in postmenopausal women who experienced the surgical removal of the ovaries.

The testosterone patch phase III clinical trial involved several thousand women from all over the globe. It’s currently in the process, and soon we are going to get the official results. Initially, the studies were launched with the participation of menopausal women, who went through it naturally, as well as with the ones who have been through the surgical removal of ovaries and chemotherapy.

Now let’s pass on to more down-to-earth problems and ways of fighting them.

11 Reasons A Wife Can Lose Interest in Sex

1. She’s very busy


She might have a full-time job or too many responsibilities within the household. She feels stressed and exhausted and merely does not have extra energy for sex and intimacy. Childcare and household chores are usually a woman’s responsibility, even if she works as much as her husband does. You have to fix this imbalance.


Your spouse should have some relaxing time for herself, as well as sufficient personal space. Try sharing the household chores so that your wife is not overburdened with too much responsibility. Sharing should be done regularly if you want to preserve your relationship and not merely to have sex with your spouse when you want to. It’s not a tit-for-tat sort of thing.

2. You have different needs


It can happen that your wife doesn’t need as much sex as you do. The lower libido of the partner is not a problem. It does not mean that your spouse doesn’t love you – she merely doesn’t want to have sex so often. It’s known as desire discrepancy. There’s another trouble here. Your wife can be unaware of your needs.


You should start an exploratory, earnest conversation with your spouse and discuss the essence of the sex and your mutual attitude to it. You’ll need to inform each other about your preferences and find a balanced position for both of you. If you aren’t sure how to start a conversation, seek professional counseling. A sexuality professional will help.

3. She feels pressured


A sex desire discrepancy can appear when one of the partners is constantly asking for sex, and the other one has to agree to satisfy his sexual needs. Pressure kills the libido, establishing the so-called sexual avoidance. Your wife can be unhappy when you ask her for sex. Sex in bad circumstances for your wife leads to the complete loss of interest.


You should find a way to eliminate the stress out of your sex life. Remember that pleasure and connection are most important. If you merely need physical release, there’s an abundance of sex toys that can help you with it. Start having sex differently. Use new techniques, massages, and touches. Google for the sexual avoidance cycle to learn about how you can help your spouse.

4. She doesn’t like your kind of sex


If you’re about a goal-oriented, typical approach to penetrative sex, it can lead to a lack of satisfaction for a woman. Many wives don’t enjoy penetrative sex, because it should be a complex of techniques. They also want to reach orgasms, like their husbands, but they fail to do it, merely because something is wrong with the position or speed.


Study the articles on how to make a woman enjoy orgasmic, satisfying sex. Ask her about her needs, give her time to focus, map her body for the erogenous zones, focus on the clitoris, and always allow her to indicate whether she is ready for something or not. Use sex toys, learn what tantric sex is, and ask her questions in the process.

5. There’s a lack of emotional bond


Of course, if it’s a one-night stand, there’s no need for emotional connection because it’s just the need for pure sex. If it’s a long-term relationship, you should regularly have a heartfelt conversation. It means that your interaction doesn’t have room for romance, and both of you feel like friendly roommates rather than passionate partners.


Take your time and build emotional interaction with your wife. Restore your soul connection. Arrange a romantic date with your wife, or remember the first time you had enjoyable sex with her and reproduce it. Always discuss your worries and feelings. Your frustration, fears, dreams, and hopes should be somehow connected.

6. You have relationship problems


Regular arguments and disagreements related to your children, work, and money matters, interfere with sex drive. Sex satisfaction and relationship satisfaction are tightly knit together.


All ongoing arguments within a family bond should be regularly addressed. Always ask your spouse about how she feels in a relationship and about what she would like to change or improve to get everything back.

7. Motherhood


Becoming a mother can drastically affect the attitude of the spouse to sex. She accepts motherhood and forgets about being a lover, strongly desexualizing herself. A woman loses herself as a sexual object and dissolves in the role of a mother. The relationships between the partners are concentrated on the kids rather than on the “guilty” sex pleasure.


Your spouse should understand that you still consider her sexy. Share affectionate touches, hugs, and simmering kisses. Remember that these gestures shouldn’t look like sex requests. Find a way to spend some time without the kids. There’s nothing wrong with leaving a kid with a babysitter for a day so that both of you could concentrate on each other and not on parenthood.

8. She feels insecure about herself


It’s one of the most painful concerns for the wives. The problem becomes acute, especially after childbirth. Our bodies are changing with time, and the lack of interest in sex is often tied to the worries about the way your wife feels about her looks.


Our bodies are personal journeys. Some of the issues can be changed, while some of them not. If your wife seems to be struggling with body issues, support her, and never let yourself sound like you’re criticizing her. Compliments can also help.

9. Menopause


The decreasing levels of estrogen automatically make your wife want less sex because of many reasons. The vaginal tissue becomes less elastic and thin, the blood flow in the lower area of the body isn’t so intensive, and the nerves in the area of the vagina and clitoris become less sensitive. Sex is becoming painful and hard, without a possibility to reach the climax.


Start with the lubricant. Water-based lubes are comfortable for use, hypoallergenic, and help to get rid of vaginal dryness. Use sex toys and strong vibrators for a more prominent stimulation of the nerve ends. Your age doesn’t mean you can’t have enjoyable sex. If it’s still painful, your spouse should see the doctor because there can be an underlying health condition.

10. Health issues


If your wife is suffering from chronic pains caused by cancer or diabetes, it’s normal that she experiences changes in her libido. There’s a range of problems with well-being that should be addressed. If your spouse demonstrates an unpredictable change in sexual behavior, she might experience pains or worries.


If both of you are mutually satisfied with the relationship, there can be a physical cause. If it’s a severe health condition your wife has to get through, don’t push her for sex. All in all, there’s always a possibility to achieve a climax with the use of sex toys or different, non-penetrative sex techniques. Be sensitive and compassionate.

11. She has mental health problems


Stress, anxiety, and depression normally lead to a lack of sexual drive. Antidepressant pills can do the same. If your wife is through the medication course destined to help her beat a current mental health condition, she might be less eager to have sex as regularly as it was before.


It’s the same as with any other physical health condition. You should demonstrate your compassionate nature and support the struggles of your wife. You can have a gentle conversation on how sex is important for both of you and address the doctor in matters of lowered libido. Probably, she needs adjustments to her current medical course.

My Wife Has No Desire for Sex: What to Do? Bottom Line

There’s a range of underlying problems standing behind the reduced libido of your wife. The most universal advice is to start a therapy monitored by a professional. Sex therapy is the top and most effective approach to the improvement of sex life.

Never jump to conclusions, discuss whether both of you are satisfied with a current relationship, work on your marriage and relationship, and don’t concentrate solely on the kids. You should always have enough time for yourself. And a bit of romance to make your relationship work as before. Besides, your wife can merely be not in the mood for sex, which is normal if she’s tired or has a stomachache. Be compassionate.